i feel so bad for my mom

not sorry for her, but she's gone through a lot. it just saddens me because the ones that hurt us is our own family. my mom has lent out so much money to her siblings and other family members when they were in need. now they're not even giving a penny of it back. it's not just hundreds of dollars. it's THOUSANDS of dollars. and now you don't even call my mom to check up on her or pick up her calls. my mom shouldn't have been so nice in the first place but that's just how she is. and also, she was the one who even got you guys to come to the united states. without her, you would still be in china and you're lucky to even be getting your green cards. yeah, you have ajob in the us now and you don't need us. you think you're amazing? you wouldnt be where you are today if it wasn't for my mom. stop going to her out of everyone cause no one else will help. everyone else who chose not to help you out, why do you treat them so well still? and even my own aunt took money from my mom's restaurant like wtf? do you even know what family is? how can you be so fake

over the past year or so, i've come to realize how important my family is. i wish we could be closer and do family things together but we're so seperated that it might be impossible. i used to rely on my friends to make me feel better and only vent out to them. i felt like i had no one else to turn to and i'd argue with everyone in my family. but without family and myself, who else do i have really? when everyone else turns their back on you? i stopped yelling at my brother because he's at an age where he should understand the words i say to him. i just don't want him to end up being a failure. i know me and my sister argue, but hey, we're siblings. i gave up about getting pissed when she would wear my stuff cause sharing is caring. my dad may be an asshole and lazy, but he's still my dad. and my mom has done so much, and shows her love in countless ways. she sacrifices everything for this family and doesn't ask for anything in return. my aunt loves me so much and treats me as her own daughter ever since she was little. she never thought twice to buy me something i wanted. since she doesn't get to see her son, i'll be there for her too. this year is the first year i bought almost everyone in my family a present. i just feel like i owe them so much and i want them to know that i think about them too even though i dont always express it. i wanna be a good daughter, a good sister, a good girlfriend, a good friend, a good granddaughter, a good niece and just a good person in general. i've become so close to my cousins even though i didn't talk to them when they were still in china. i want to take time out of my day to hang out with my family. these people have the same blood type as me and even if they do something to disappoint me, i'll be there for them. my family might be a mess, but every family has some problems of their own right? i just want everyone to be happy, without any worries.