Another love related post

Until I get a diary that I can write my thoughts in, this is where I have to vent out my feelings to. Sorry!

As each day goes by, I feel like I'm slowly slipping away. As hard as I try to grip into you, onto us, it takes two for it to get back up again. I don't do the things I do for a purpose. I do it because that's the way I am. And maybe you don't do things because that's not how you are. I'm not saying you're not enough or I'd find someone better. But when you doubt me, or don't believe me, it honestly breaks me inside. Knowing that I wasn't in the wrong but thought of in a bad way, causing your mind to think about unnecessary things. I don't think it would change if I said it to you. Even if I said it a million times, you wouldn't totally understand. I'm running out of breath and ways to make this heart heal itself. Maybe you're right. You don't treat me like those guys in dramas because I'm not as "good" as the girls in those dramas. But I'm your girlfriend and you took me despite the bad things you saw in me. I probably shed more tears than those girls, and put in more effort than you've seen other girls do. Stop thinking about the negative things that aren't important and start appreciating and thinking about the things that really matter. And if you can't even try because you think it's not worth it to hurt over this relationship, then I guess in the end, my efforts will go to waste and I have to learn to let go.

Goodmorning

It's going to be humid today. Little rain and 58 degrees. I hate it when I really want to fall asleep because I feel sleepy and tired but I'm just laying in bed thinking about things and I don't actually sleep until later. I also woke up two hours early so basically I got three hours of sleep. I guess I'll get some pills later. I didn't straighten my hair cause it'll probably get messed up later on anyways and I should stop straightening it everyday. It really damaged my hair and if I don't think I need to do anything to it, I won't.

I got 2 bandeaus at Aries for $9.50 each and it was 25% off after that and I also joined their rewards club for deals hehe. Then I got this cute floral romper at Necessary clothing but I'll make a haul video probably later on. I just can't wait until we can wear summer clothes cause I've started buying for the next season already! But I really need to stop spending money and save up. I'm returning a shirt I got at Hollister and exchanging my jeans.

I'm so obsessed with the song "What happened to us" by Jessica. I need to start downloading songs and update my ipod too!

I have a lot of my list to do today so I might as well get everything done. Too bad the weather isn't going to be as nice as I thought it would be. I'm gonna pick up my packages from the post office after I get breakfast since it opens at 9. Then I'll head to school and get pills at Duane Reade for my headache. Then I'm gonna walk to union to get my eyebrows threaded and maybe stop by Forever 21. Then I'm gonna walk to St. Marks to get some oversized glasses and maybe get lunch there too. I'm in the mood for sushi! And I'll go to Hollister straight from there because I have my fitting at 12:45 and then I have work for four hours starting at 1:30. I hope they give me fitting room one of these days. Afterwards, I'll just get dinner and go home. I need to get everything done fast so I can try to sleep earlier tonight.

Finally new pictures! :3

How to open a new pair of circle lenses

You know how they come in 2 little bottles before you take them out and put them into the case? It's kind of hard to take the top off and sometimes I end up using my teeth haha. Well there's a correct way to open it which makes it easier for you later on. Here are they steps! (In pictures)

** Make sure you look for where the arrow is**

Hope this helped some of you!

Circle Lens Review: GEO Honey Wing Brown

I ordered these circle lenses from www.mycandyeyes.com and I love it! I made a youtube review on it so look out for that sometime this week.

So let me just start off with the whole shipping experience, the comfort of these lenses, etc. Their site was very organized and it had so many circle lenses to choose from. I received this about 8 business days after my order and it was free shipping! It was packaged nicely in an envelope and the contacts were in two bottles also wrapped with bubble wrap. It comes with a contact case and directions to take care of your lenses. These circle lenses are very easy to work with and I don't feel like I have contacts on. They're really natural which is what I was aiming for.

They have amazing promotions! You can get a free pair of contacts for just making a review, a video or blog post. I definitely recommend buying your circle lenses from this site.

More pictures will be up soon! 

I'm not trying to compare the pain we've put each other through. I've ran out of words to describe how hurt I feel and how tired my heart has become. If you only knew, that I put you in front of everyone even though I shouldn't. I'd rather give you the last piece of my favorite chocolate, than eat it myself. I'd rather spend money on your gift, than buy myself the jeans I've always wanted. I go to sleep, and wake up every morning, waiting for that text from you. If you only knew, the amount of time I've spent on you. Because I want you to realize, and see, the effort that I've never put into anyone else. The "sorry's" that I used to say to you, to make up for what you did wrong but I apologized for to put the pieces back together. The nonstop phone calls I'd make to you even though I knew your phone was turned off. The times I'd go out of my way to see you, late at night, or to pick you up from school. I tolerated a lot and I don't mind because all this time, I felt like you were worth it to me. You were someone important and maybe it hurts less for me even if I've become like this. I beat myself up, I try to change myself, I do all these things to fit your liking. But if you can't love me for the person I already am, is it really love? I've never wanted you to change. I just want you to give me all of you. I wish I could pretend like all those things you say when we argue didn't hurt. But it stabs me really hard and I can't even forget a word of it. Knowing that someone said they wish they never met you, that they haven't done anything or enough when you've tried your best, that the person you loved most doesn't care. I've been hoping for that day, when I finally break. When I finally can't take it, emotionally and physically. It's not that you're not enough or that I want to find someone better. I just want to be appreciated, and given all the love that I've shown you all along. 

Sorry for all these late night depressing posts. It's just that I can't sleep on my bed right now and all these negative thoughts are roaming my mind. Reviews and photos will be up soon though!

Headache

So I have a headache right now but I can't go on my bed to sleep cause my sister's boyfriend is over. He's drunk and passed out on my bed and I can't do anything to make him get up and leave. Ugh! It was so awkward being a few feet away from them while they talk about their problems. I really need sleep and I have to go to work later.

It's really hard to think about the past and how it's happening over again. I don't know how many times I've woken up with swollen eyes. People say I deserve better, but how can I believe it when you're the only one I want? When we're not arguing, I feel happy and that this is the right place for me to be. But when I finally break down, I cry for all those times I was hurt. So many questions go through my mind and honestly, I can't even answer them myself. I'm always apologizing, for things that I shouldn't be sorry for. I don't even know where my pride went. It really.. hurts a lot.. Because I give a whole lot but receive a little piece of what I deserve back. But I just tell myself.. to wait until the day I can't take it anymore. When I just completely break. And everything that's ever hurt me, won't matter anymore.

Saying sorry for something I didn't do wrong is what I'm best at.

Mid-winter break and I finally get to blog again

For the past week, I've been at my boyfriend's house and I usually spend time with him rather than blog so sorry I couldn't update my blogspot followers. I guess i'll just write a little on how my week went, future stuff, and just some things I'd like to share with you guys.

Mostly all we did during the week was sleep, eat, play games and watch movies. We barely left the house unless I had to go to work. I think most of the time we ate dumplings or egg fried rice but baby made it for me so I can never get sick of it. He's so addicted to dice on facebook now haha and we'd play some QQ games but of course, he beats me all the times anyways. I had to go to work two days in a row but I got so exhausted due to the lack of sleep I had so I had to give two shifts away. Thank God I finally got some numbers of the cashiers at work! We'd sleep around 4am and wake up 12 hours later haha which is probably the reason why I have a pimple on my left cheek that wasn't there a few days ago. Bleh I don't know why but my hair sheds really easily which gets all over Anqi's house. I might get a hair treatment or tie it up when i'm over. The only thing I purchased this week was a pair of damaged jeans from Hco. It was $40 with my discount. Today I had to go home which felt weird since I stayed over at his house for an entire week. It's kinda lonely sleeping without him and I won't see him until Friday. I still have some of my stuff at his house cause I didn't wanna bring so many bags.

Hollister is giving us new clothes for work but for the cashiers, we're getting the same outfit except we're going to wear v-neck tshirts now. I got a random $30 check and I think it's for the Uniqlo orientation, but i'm not sure. I also received my circle lenses from mycandylens.com! I'm going to make a video review and a review here on my blog. I also got a note that I got 2 packages waiting for me at the post office which i'm excited about! I'm probably going to pick it up tomorrow before I head to work.

I'm having a headache so I really need to get some sleep. I have work for the next 4 days. Tomorrow I need to go in half an hour early to get my uniform though. I took a lot of pictures today since I felt like I haven't camwhored in so long.

I finally talked to my bestie Brenda! We're going to hang out next month during her break and it's her birthday week. I might sleep over since we have so many ideas and we need time with each other to do everything we need to get done. It's exciting to talk to her about everything aha. Our plan so far is to shop at soho, take pictures, eat and head back to Fort Lee at night and take pictures and stuff at her house. I kind of cancelled on Diana this week since I have work tomorrow so I need to make it up next week maybe! I need some girl time even though I love spending time with the bf..

Answering & Asking 8 Questions TAG

I was going through choukawaii's blogspot and she did this tag and tagged whoever wanted to answer her 8 questions. I'm bored (even though I should be doing my essay) but I thought this was pretty fun to do.

1. Who is your makeup idol/inspiration?

I started watching make up gurus on youtube a few years ago and subscribed to a lot of them actually. However, I've never really tried the looks they did tutorials on because I didn't have the items they used or it just didn't feel like it would match me. But I really enjoy looking at them and I've learned a lot of things. A few of my make up inspirations are Michelle Phan, Hollyannaeree, frmheadtotoe, etc. Recently, I've been getting into the whole gyaru style and ulzzang make up though. Some are a little too dramatic but it's really pretty actually.
2. What kind of haircut do you regret trying out?

I think it'd be getting front bangs? I didn't really ask for it but the hair stylist somehow cut it that way when I asked for shorter side bangs. It just came out way too short.3. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you be and why?

I think it would be California. A lot of people would wanna live outside their country but I'm so used to be in the United States. I've always wanted to move to California one day because of the weather there and just the lifestyle.4. What is the worst pickup line you have ever heard used on you?

I don't really know since guys don't use pick up lines on me? haha5. What kind of makeup product could you not live without?

Eyeliner of course!6. If you won 1 million dollars now, what is the first thing you would buy?

This question is kinda hard to answer since I want so many things. I think I'd buy the most expensive thing I want. Probably a house so I don't have to worry about it later on?7. What do you do when you procrastinate?

Go on tumblr..8. If you could only say 1 phrase for the rest of your life, what would it be?

I don't know how to answer this question! Ahh

My 8 questions for those who want to do this tag

1. How much money do you spend on your make up?
2. What are you most obsessed with? Clothes, shoes, make up, hair, etc

3. How often do you go shopping or purchase things?

4. What is your favorite hair style?

5. What do you collect or would collect?

6. Is there a word or phrase you say all the time?

7. What color do you wear the most?

8. Where do you shop the most? Or what's your favorite store? 

Recently bought Make-up and lifestyle? pictures

My first O.P.I nail polishes! I've always heard good things about this brand but I thought it was a little too pricey since I'm not so big on nail polishes. However, I found a wholesaler and they were pretty cheap so I got two! The one on the left is called Dutch Tulips. I know it looks kind of pink but it's all red. The one on the right is called Rising Star and it's just a gold color? I usually use two coats, and I also use a base and a top coat. They are very well pigmented and I like how the color comes out on the nails!

These were sent to me for free at www.zoya.com but I had to pay a $7 fee for shipping and handling. Pursebuzz uploaded a video saying they were giving 3 free nail polishes so I checked it out! These were the three colors I picked. The shipping was really late though but I guess it's because a lot of people got it? It's my first time trying their nail polishes out as well and it's pretty good. I think they are most famous for how long it lasts. However, I've only tried the pink one since I can only have pink or reds on my toes (or French) for work.

Left: Jolene #ZP518
Middle: Edyta #ZP525

Right: Lisa #ZP534

I'd do swatches but I always bite my nails so my nails are really ugly haha. Sorry! :( Maybe on my toes when I decide to change the color.

Asian eyelashes! I'm obsessed with eyelashes nowadays. I think these are synthetic since most Asian lashes are. The American ones are usually the real human hair. Divine sent them to me and it came along with other kinds. I don't know if I'll be using these but I might sell them? Maybe $3 a box or a small giveaway! 

Random LOL but this is my BIGGEST OBSESSION EVER. 

I think i'm one of Quicklys best customers. I go there almost everyday cause i'm always craving bubble tea and this is what I usually get. Bubble tea with tapioca and herb jelly. It's sooo yummmmmmy even though it's so much calories.

I had to get new make up since I was running out and I wanted to try new brands to see what else is out there that's good. I usually only get drugstore ones because I don't like spending a lot of money on make up. My purchases:

NYX Eyeshadow base in a cream color #ESB02

Lashgrip eyelash glue in clear

I purchased the above items online

Maybelline's new Volumizing mascara

L'oreal lineur intense liquid eyeliner in Black #790

I haven't used the NYX eyeshadow base yet because I'm waiting on my eyeshadow palette which will hopefully arrive soon with the other things I got. It's supposed to make the eyeshadow look more pigmented on your eyes.

I'm using the Duo eyelash glue right now and I don't think it works as well as the Lashgrip one I used before so I decided to get that after I'm done with this tube.

The mascara is pretty good. I usually use 2-3 layers of it and it really is waterproof. I can't take it off with just water. I need to get a mascara remover haha so I don't damage my eyelashes. It makes my lashes stand out but sometimes it gets clumped up.

I've seen a lot of gurus use the L'oreal eyeliner so I wanted to try it. I liked how they used it for the wings and made it so perfect but this eyeliner is not for me. The stick is too long and hard to handle because of its length. I think I might go back to Revlon or try the Japanese pen eyeliners which seem to get good reviews.

These are the cute chocolate covered strawberries I made for baby! I don't know if it tasted good but it's the thought that counts right? I made one of them a groom and the other one a bride in her dress. Hehe those turned out well at least

Choukawaii's first giveaway!

I just started following choukawaii.blogspot.com as well as her tumblr. She's having a giveaway for reaching 100+ followers and the prizes are:

2 pairs of Dolly Wink eyelashes in no. 1

1 x Dolly Wink eyelash case

1 x Kamipita Velcro Ribbon Fringe Holder in Red Polka-Dot
1 x Chocolate Mirror

This giveaway is open internationally so anyone can enter.

For more information on how to enter, visit her blog and you must become a follower to qualify.

She posts amazing reviews and other things so don't solely follow for this contest only because the main reason for this giveaway to thank her followers.

The deadline for this contest is March 16, 2011 @ 11:59PST

and the winner will be announced at the end of the month.

Good luck everyone ~

Nanda- Fashion inspiration

Their clothes aren't that pricey for the quality, but I'm sure you can find similar styles for cheaper or at stores like Topshop and Urban Outfitters. I don't think this style would look good on me? Haha. But the models are really pretty and I love their hair! I really like the volume of it.

Daily eye make-up routine

Step 1: Start with a clean face
Step 2: Put in your circle lenses

(I don't know what they're called cause Sandy sent them to me. They're just black)

Step 3: Use liquid eyeliner to line the top (Revlon)
(Start with a thin line then layer over it)

Step 4: At the end, wing it out with the tip of the liner
Step 5: Put eyelash glue on the lash (Duo), let the glue
rest for 20-30 seconds for it to be tacky then put it
close to your natural lashes
(I don't know what lashes they are, Divine sent them to me)
Step 6: Use pencil eyeliner (Revlon) to line the bottom

Took this on Valentine's Day

I'M BACK! After 11 days

Sorry my lovely followers ❤

I haven't been in such a good mood lately and that makes me not wanna blog haha. But I wanna stick with this blog and keep you guys updated on everything. I have another blog but this blog is going to include more reviews and stuff I purchased but also include my daily posts and rants. And lots of pictures! I don't think I'll be uploading anymore bad quality photos I take with my phone (unless it's something I definitely want to be up). I'm also going to change up my layout and move things around.

Updates:
For Chinese New Year, I got a lot of 红包 (red envelopes) but I think I have less than $100 left from it haha. I ate a lot for like three nights in a row
Working at Hollister has been alright I guess. It's usually busy every day but I'm glad I'm a minor so times are more flexible and I don't have to close. It's kinda tiring though and I wish I knew more people so I could get them to cover my shifts when I don't wanna work. And I think all the customers don't like how dark it is and how hot it is! We're getting new shirts soon but I wish we'd get shorts for the summer too. There's so many workers that everytime I work, I meet like new cashiers but I can't even remember any of their names.
I've been getting to lazy at school but from now on i'm gonna go for school service and I guess just eat my breakfast or go to the computer room so they get my attendance. Then I'll just go to English and try my best there.
Baby and I started playing crazy dice on Facebook and it's kinda addicting haha! 
Valentine's day was alright but it's nothing special I guess. Everyday should be sweet for couples shouldn't it? I made baby chocolate covered strawberries and a collage of us which he can't even put on his wall cause of his family. We just went to Flushing to eat Udon and then we brought back snacks and watched movies at his house. All these girls were uploading flowers and other things they received but it's okay for me heh.
So I decided from now on I should change myself to mature since I'm going to be an adult and I need to be independent. I should go to sleep earlier and make it on time for school everyday. When I get home I should get everything done that I need to then go play on the computer. I should help around the house and stop being lazy and remember to take off my make up before I sleep aha.
No school next week so I'm gonna spend the whole week at baby's and just go to work. The weather is slowly getting better but it's still kinda bipolar for now. I can't wait to put away my uggs and start wearing stuff for cardigan weather. Paycheck this week too! 
Last week was a bad week for my baby and I but I think it's starting to get better and I just want us to understand each other better. He won't freaking facetime with me! 哼

I'm still hurting, but I promise not to show it to you.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEARS (eve) 恭喜發財！

ZOYA Nailpolish

So my nailpolishes finally came in the mail! I've only tried the pink one but it looks really good. I can only wear pink or red tones on my toenails and neutral on my fingernails so I used it on my toes. Just one layer is pretty vibrant. I didn't have time to take a picture of the polishes with a camera so I used my phone.

Left: LISA
Middle: JOLENE
Right: EDYTA

This is the color on my toes.
I'll take a picture of the other swatches some other time and post them up.

New pictures with baby, finally~!!

 2 weeks <3

It's February..

This month is gonna be pretty good. Chinese new years, me and baby's five months, Valentine's day, my brother's birthday and a week off at the end of this month!

So I haven't updated since Jan 28th cause I've been busy and I spent the whole weekend with the boyfriend at his house mainly just watching dramas, movies, eating and family outing haha. I finally saw Dear John which is so sad and Black Swan was pretty good.

I went broke again but good thing I'm gonna get red envelopes and people sent me money for the things they ordered. I went to my guidance and now I only have ap english and lunch and school service which I don't really have to show up for. I finally finished all my college stuff but now i'm worrying about which school I'll get into. I guess I can always transfer so no need to be stressing right now.

Today I didn't go to school cause I heard it was way too slippery and some schools were all closed so I was like wtf Bloomberg can suck it cause he never cancels school. I just ordered take out with my sister from my old job heheh. Hopefully I won't slip and embarrass myself when I go out later. Afterwards, i'm going to have dinner with my family for Chinese new years at my mom's restaurant. I might cancel training with Hollister today cause the dinner starts at 6:30 but I have to go if they don't pick up my call. I really wanna shop this weekend or the next with Brenda or something cause I don't really like anything in my closet and I might just sell them all.

I'm gonna gain so much weight this week from going to dinner and stuff for CNY ahh!