So I have a headache right now but I can't go on my bed to sleep cause my sister's boyfriend is over. He's drunk and passed out on my bed and I can't do anything to make him get up and leave. Ugh! It was so awkward being a few feet away from them while they talk about their problems. I really need sleep and I have to go to work later.
It's really hard to think about the past and how it's happening over again. I don't know how many times I've woken up with swollen eyes. People say I deserve better, but how can I believe it when you're the only one I want? When we're not arguing, I feel happy and that this is the right place for me to be. But when I finally break down, I cry for all those times I was hurt. So many questions go through my mind and honestly, I can't even answer them myself. I'm always apologizing, for things that I shouldn't be sorry for. I don't even know where my pride went. It really.. hurts a lot.. Because I give a whole lot but receive a little piece of what I deserve back. But I just tell myself.. to wait until the day I can't take it anymore. When I just completely break. And everything that's ever hurt me, won't matter anymore.
Saying sorry for something I didn't do wrong is what I'm best at.
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