I'm not trying to compare the pain we've put each other through. I've ran out of words to describe how hurt I feel and how tired my heart has become. If you only knew, that I put you in front of everyone even though I shouldn't. I'd rather give you the last piece of my favorite chocolate, than eat it myself. I'd rather spend money on your gift, than buy myself the jeans I've always wanted. I go to sleep, and wake up every morning, waiting for that text from you. If you only knew, the amount of time I've spent on you. Because I want you to realize, and see, the effort that I've never put into anyone else. The "sorry's" that I used to say to you, to make up for what you did wrong but I apologized for to put the pieces back together. The nonstop phone calls I'd make to you even though I knew your phone was turned off. The times I'd go out of my way to see you, late at night, or to pick you up from school. I tolerated a lot and I don't mind because all this time, I felt like you were worth it to me. You were someone important and maybe it hurts less for me even if I've become like this. I beat myself up, I try to change myself, I do all these things to fit your liking. But if you can't love me for the person I already am, is it really love? I've never wanted you to change. I just want you to give me all of you. I wish I could pretend like all those things you say when we argue didn't hurt. But it stabs me really hard and I can't even forget a word of it. Knowing that someone said they wish they never met you, that they haven't done anything or enough when you've tried your best, that the person you loved most doesn't care. I've been hoping for that day, when I finally break. When I finally can't take it, emotionally and physically. It's not that you're not enough or that I want to find someone better. I just want to be appreciated, and given all the love that I've shown you all along. 

Sorry for all these late night depressing posts. It's just that I can't sleep on my bed right now and all these negative thoughts are roaming my mind. Reviews and photos will be up soon though!