When something good happens, you're the first one I want to tell. When something bad happens, I also want to tell you so I can feel comfort. But in all honesty, there's no reaction. The only way I can let out my emotions is through my blog. And in conclusion, I realize that in the end all I have is myself.

I thought I was done hurting for a while, but it never stopped. My worth to everyone else is this little? I pour my heart out and do things out of my way for others. If I could just feel a little appreciation, that'd be great.

Yesterday I had an emotional breakdown. Everything from the past was hitting me really hard and I just wish I was able to forget it.

A few years back, I made a really nice present for someone that I stayed up numerous nights to make. Every year, I'd think of her on Christmas or her birthday and I'd get her something. But through all these years, I've never received anything from her. No I'm not saying I'll only do things for other people if I get something back, but the fact that she would plan surprise parties for her other friends who didn't do as much for her as I did. Where are my friends on my birthday?

Even though I'm the girl, I always decide to do something nice for my significant other on Valentine's day. I spend my money, make homemade gifts, and go see them. I try to come up with sweet things to do for my boyfriend and show how much I love him. But it's hard not to think about what I mean to him. I always ask myself if I'm asking for too much.

Honestly, what am I to you guys?