Most important rule to confidence: never compare yourself to anyone else.

Keep your head up.

I learned a lot today, about my life and on things I need to improve. During training, we all went up to do our introductions so Louise could critique it and see if there was anything we could change. After I went, she flat out told me (with my coach Judy agreeing with her) that my introduction sucked and it was boring. Inside I kind of felt like I wanted to cry because I felt like I’m doing worse than the other girls, but I didn’t. I kept on smiling and tried to change it up a bit for my second turn. Today made me realize that I can actually be strong. As long as I don’t give up and keep trying, I can go up there and be confident. A lot of people stop when they can’t do something, but I’m going to keep going with my head up. She’s criticizing me to better me and make my introduction the best it can be. She’s trying to pull something unique out of me that was missing in my introduction. I gotta admit, it was pretty boring listing all my jobs and interests haha. Afterwards I decided to talk about my blog because I think it’s pretty unique eh? 

I had my private consultation with Judy afterwards and she let me know my strong suits and things I needed to improve. I got critiqued on my walking as well and my posture is something I need to fix. I got into the habit of slouching ever since I was small, but I know I can fix it if I try, practice and have confidence. I probably have one of the least confidence out of the entire group and I think that’s because I don’t wanna come off as a cocky person sometimes. I wanna come out of this pageant a more confident person and someone who will just do it and not think I can do it. My strong suits are my positive personality, my approachability, and my outlook on life. I will definitely use this to my advantage. Right now I just want to use my lack of experience and confidence as an advantage to improve even more and see a bigger difference in me by the end of this summer. 

June 6

I had training with Judy from 11:30 until 2:30 then I had my private consultation. Afterwards, I met up with Anqi at New Mall and we had lunch. I actually got food from my friend Connie’s restaurant cause she told me she opened one in the food court. Sadly I couldn’t find my liddo Junie da pizzuh gurl! Afterwards we went to take the van to Chinatown and we went to my house to drop off some stuff. I changed my bag and wore my mommy’s LV bag haha. We went to Soho and he just got a few things from Hollister. He wanted to change up his style so I made him get a collared shirt from Uniqlo heh. I couldn’t see anything I really wanted so we just went to dinner. We ordered a lot at the Shanghai restaurant for only two people. He went to take the van after and I just went home. I have a feeling I’m gonna sleep really late tonight cause I gotta shower then finish up my literature log and do other stuff.

I need to order dance shoes soon so I can have them for filming next week. They’re around $100 then I need to pay $200 for dance lessons which I’m taking on Thursday since we need to have our performance showcased next week at the first talent rehearsal. Ugh everything is so rushed right now. Then I also need to get my Visa picture taken and give it to Jason by this Wednesday but I’ll do that tomorrow. Gosh spending so much money sorry mom.

Tomorrow I have dance from 11-1 (I’m going after class) then my group is filming our homework for Judy. Then I’m gonna head over to Anqi’s house and go to FedEx or CVS for my passport photo.

Sometimes I feel like I’m saying my entire life to the world and it may be too public. Then later on it might backfire on me with all this info I’m giving out. So do you guys think I should be less open about my life???

** The spacing and fonts are weird because I copied and pasted this from my Tumblr.