Cleaned up my desk again!

My desk always gets pretty messy after 2 weeks or so. I try to be as organized as I can and put everything into their rightful place but I just get lazy while I'm on the laptop you know? I was bored today so I decided to rearrange it again. I don't know why but I ended up having my sister's things on MY desk so today I took the broken printer out and cleared out my sister's things haha. Now I have more space and I feel like this is a better "offce"/work area for me.

Like it? 

Here's an outfit of the day from yesterday. I had to dress up to go to the salon

Top: Mystique

Shorts: Mystique
Tights: Joyce Leslie

Sweet vs Rock Giveaway @ Woxje.blogspot

Sweet

A set of pink nails + Nailglue (handmade)
A creme white ribbon ring with adjustable size (handmade)
Eyelashes
Blue floral usamimi
Deco heart stones
Hime Style gal magazine (features a lot of streetsnaps and staff-chan snaps)
Pack of tissues with Sakurina and Momoeri

Rock

A set of black x white striped nails + Nailglue (handmade)
Black ribbon ring with adjustable size (handmade)
Eyelashes
Black floral usamimi
Silver cross deco stones
Hime Style gal magazine (features a lot of streetsnaps and staff-chan snaps)
Pack of tissues with Sakurina and Momoeri

Now.. here are the rules

1. You MUST be a follower of her blog

2. Leave a comment on her post with your name & e-mail address

3. For an extra entry, refer to her giveaway on your blog and leave another comment with your name, e-mail and the link to your blogspot post

4. You may specify which set you'd like but if you don't mind, leave it black

5. Deadline is 4/24/11

Good luck girls! XOXO

When something good happens, you're the first one I want to tell. When something bad happens, I also want to tell you so I can feel comfort. But in all honesty, there's no reaction. The only way I can let out my emotions is through my blog. And in conclusion, I realize that in the end all I have is myself.

I thought I was done hurting for a while, but it never stopped. My worth to everyone else is this little? I pour my heart out and do things out of my way for others. If I could just feel a little appreciation, that'd be great.

Yesterday I had an emotional breakdown. Everything from the past was hitting me really hard and I just wish I was able to forget it.

A few years back, I made a really nice present for someone that I stayed up numerous nights to make. Every year, I'd think of her on Christmas or her birthday and I'd get her something. But through all these years, I've never received anything from her. No I'm not saying I'll only do things for other people if I get something back, but the fact that she would plan surprise parties for her other friends who didn't do as much for her as I did. Where are my friends on my birthday?

Even though I'm the girl, I always decide to do something nice for my significant other on Valentine's day. I spend my money, make homemade gifts, and go see them. I try to come up with sweet things to do for my boyfriend and show how much I love him. But it's hard not to think about what I mean to him. I always ask myself if I'm asking for too much.

Honestly, what am I to you guys?

Starving @.@

- My Hollister shorts finally came! They were on sale last week for $20.70 so I got a pair of denim ones.
- I'm gonna try and change up my layout soon. Or I might just change the background and contents cause it takes me a while and I'm not familiar with blogspot skins. Tumblr themes are way easier

- I'm meeting up with 5 girls this week to face trade for the things I sold to them

- I made a new Tumblr! I got inspired by a few blogs today and I felt like changing up my blogging style. The pictures, how I edit, what I post, etc. I'm not going to share my link until I update on it for a while. It's mostly going to be pictures and on my style and things I like. I edited the theme and it looks so nice! I love it. 

Beauty Pageant Headshorts

Yesterday I finally got my pictures taken for my pageant application. They have to be somewhat "good quality" so Chao's friend Jacky helped me take pictures at his store. I'm applying tonight so wish me luck!

Side profile view

The other pictures were "eh" to me so I don't wanna put them on my blog hehe.

Vivi & Waihao's birthday party weekend

The Cake

We made the cake ourselves because it would've been around $50 for two cakes and we bought supplies for $30 only. Diana came over but I had to bake everything before she got here because she had to leave soon after. Everything came out pretty good even though we didn't use the exact measurements. She put the frosting on with me for the first cake and decorated it. It was strawberry with vanilla frosting and we used strawberry to decorate.

For Waihao's cake, Diana left before it cooled off so I just decorated it myself. I put strawberry frosting all over but I think it would've tasted better without it haha. I had a hard time boxing the round cake but I ended up putting it in a UPS box haha. I just covered the rectangle brownie cake with clear wrap.

Our hard work paid off! I had to walk to the van and to Brooklyn holding both cakes. I dropped off the cake first at the karaoke place but when it was time to bring out the cakes, something went terribly wrong. I was putting it on the table but there was something under it so I dropped the cake. BIG FAIL!!! No one wanted to eat a cake that was once on the floor haha. But we lit it anyways and they blew it out. Everyone said the brownie cake was good though.

The Party

When I first got there, we went to play pool with my cousins, boyfriend and other people. Vivi then came after and we started calling people out. It was also Waihao's birthday but he was still in his hotel.

I was getting so frustrated that night. We got the wrong sized room because not that many people were going to show up. I hate it when people change their minds and end up not showing last minute. We finally decided to change to a large room instead of VIP. I was so mad because it felt like I was doing so much when it wasn't even my party. I just wanted everyone to have a good time and they're my friends but the own birthday boy didn't do anything and he was so late. Ugh I was mad that I ruined my make up I had done that morning.

Instead of playing dice and drinking, I basically just sang the whole time. No one wanted to play with me, boohoo! Everyone was complimenting on my boyfriend because he was playing with everyone and they kept trying to get him drunk haha. We finally got a couple picture and the one on the left is Diana and Waihao.

At the end of the party, Anqi and I called a cab and it cost us $40! I slept over and we woke up the next day during the afternoon.

We're cuter! LOL JK 

So stressed out (rant)

I've calmed down a little but I'm so annoyed, mad and stressed.

So you know how I went to Le Salon Chinois for training? Today is my THIRD time going in. The first time, I got off work half an hour early to rush home and change to get there on time. It was also raining snow. I went in, gave her my name and number and left. The second time, I went in, got trained a little by Jose, and she askes me one question then I leave. And today, she comes in late again and I get trained a little and she tells me she double booked again after she rescheduled me for the same reason tomorrow. She told me it's okay that I'm 17 since I'm Lily's friend but towards the end she said I might be too young. What?! Age doesn't matter. I've worked at so many places and I learn quick. Everything I learned so far has been stuck in my head. I freaking memorized the number in a minute. I have a life too. I can't just go in when YOU'RE free and you have no one on your schedule. You scheduled me so you should be on time because that's unprofessional. You could've given me a direct answer from the start instead of making me go back so many times. I used up my rides today so I went to use my debit card to buy a single ride but somehow it didn't work. So I walked all the way to fucking second avenue in my heels just to take the bus with my transfer.

Another thing I have to stress about is college. Even though it's "normal" my letters haven't came in yet but college is soon. I need to know where the fuck I'm going. And financial aid is a pain in the ass. I need to go fill out the form again tomorrow with the most bitchiest counselor ever.

And on top of that, I'm doing the pageant which is so much pressure. I'm doing it so I won't miss out on any opportunities. It's something that I think I'll be passionate about and something I really want to do. I still need to send in the application though and then go to the interview and do those things.

Everyone takes advantage of me and I'm getting so worn out. Does anyone ever appreciate me? Why doesn't anyone step out of THEIR way to do something nice for me when I always do it for others? I'm so frustrated that I'm about to fucking cry while typing this. But I'm just so damn tired. I'm tired of trying to please everyone. I'm tired of trying to make everyone happy. I'm tired of being taken advantage of. Have you guys ever thought of me? I don't ever ask for anything but why do I feel like I ask you guys for so much? I put up with bullshit so much.

Everything's just annoying the shit out of me today and only blogging seems to calm me down.